I'M BACK!

Here I am again.   My beautiful new baby just turned four months old.

Let's recap, shall we?

I started this weight loss crusade in October 2010 when the scale last read 355.  It wouldn't register higher than that.  That was my "holy shit!" moment when things had to change.  And so I calorie counted.  I followed these blogs and it worked.  It was inspiration.  In the 7 weeks prior to seeing my positive pregnancy test, I lost 27 pounds.  And then I saw the two lines....

Diet OVER.

I was really good during my pregnancy though.  I ate healthy but did not calorie count because I knew I would obsess.  So fast forward to the date I gave birth.  I gained 16 pounds.  My daughter was 7 lbs. 12 oz. so I lost that on the operating table.  ;-)   Nice.

After that I was losing quickly too.  I was in the hospital for a week and had a c-section, etc. so I had plenty of water weight for a good month or so.  And I kept losing despite my desperation and thirst for juices.  Hello sugar!

I breastfed for 7 weeks and when I stopped the diet was full on again.

My first goal was to hit 324.  I flew past that in a hurry.  That was the weight I had been stuck at for AGES (prior to my ballooning upward).  I was 324 when I got pregnant with my now 4 year old daughter.  I went back to that weight after having her.

So my next HUGE goal was 299.  For obvious reasons.  Well get this.  I was trying SOOOOO hard and practically starving.  I got down to 300.4! on the scale.  And then we left town for Thanksgiving.  I was SOOOO good while were away.  Totally good on Thanksgiving.  I got back and BOOM -- 305.  WTF?!

It has been yoyo-ing between 302-304 since.

And I am NOT a happy camper.

It is beyond depressing when I lose 50 pounds and not one person noticed when we went to visit families on Thanksgiving.  Not one word.  Oh, but trust me, they notice and vocalize it when the weight goes up.

So I am feeling discouraged.  I am SOOOO close to being in the 2s and yet feel so far away from it.  I have worked soooo hard.  I am hungry and bitchy and obsessed with the damn scale right now.  I need to step back, re-assess and commit to moving forward /DOWNWARD on the scale. And I need everyone's help because I certainly don't have it out there in the real world.  

304 as of this morning.   I want to see the first number be 2 ASAP.  Help me!

Thanks.

:-)